im gonna lose more weight and get tattooed and be super hot soon just you wait

(via bandvibes)

378081 notes - reblog


my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop


he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

(Source: nbhcannibal, via disowns)

481825 notes - reblog


blogging at 50 mph (memes per hour)

(via bro-mies)

81562 notes - reblog


sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star

(Source: halcyondiamonds, via measurable)

739435 notes - reblog


awww I love getting cute goodnight texts from no one

(Source: crystalized-snow, via yowing)

281707 notes - reblog


if i was famous id probably just ask my fans to buy me food when im hungry 

(Source: awkwardvagina, via trashqrier)

329741 notes - reblog

i always feel so bad when people leave me nice messages and they’re like “i’m so sorry if this is creepy” like no are you serious you’re not creepy at all have you seen my blog i’m the fucking creepiest person alive

(Source: hateruess, via seanp0donnell)

185512 notes - reblog

to the people who have followed me lately that I did not greet


(via trust)

628384 notes - reblog


Police officer: Do you know why I pulled you over sir? Because you are a wreckless driver. You have never been in a wreck. I am proud of you.

(via alive-but-im-barely-breathing)

18101 notes - reblog

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